Saturday, February 21, 2015
Sometimes it is hard to understand what God is doing but He is there. This morning I woke up and my heart was not beating in a regular rhythm. It was not the first time. In fact, it had happened only three months previous. It meant that we would once again need to make a trip to Nairobi for a cardio inversion. The last time we had taken the bus and by the end I was feeling my heart might go into a full heart attack with chest pains and tightness. This time we will fly. It would still take a number of hours and cost us more but I did not think I could make another bus trip in the same condition. With this happening so soon again, it brought up serious questions about my ability to stay on the mission field. We would need to talk to the doctor about possible solutions. With the heart being out of rhythm, it leaves me feeling weak and light headed. I lay in bed and prayed to God, “God, why? We are trying to live by faith. We have tried to surrender to You the vehicle problems and trust You will take care of us, and not only have we not seen any answers to that prayer, now we have this. Am I being punished for something?” We began making arrangements for the trip. Different friends jumped forward to help. Their care means more than I can say. We got a flight to go out tonight. I was feeling concerned about the trip. There would first need to be a road trip of about four hours just to get to the airport . Then I would need to deal with all the check in procedures. I had heard that if the airline knew I was having some heart issues they would not let me on, so that meant I could not use a wheelchair. I would have to get around on my own power as best I could. The pastors, who were my students, came and asked if they could pray for me. I readily accepted. Prayer is always a good thing and you never know what God might do. The pastors came in and said they would pray for God’s healing and ask for a miracle in whatever way God might choose to do. I knew that these men believed that God could still do miracles and I did, too. As they were praying over me I joined them in asking for God to do a miracle in me. Then as they continued to pray, I checked my pulse and found that it was back in normal rhythm. Once before my heart had gone back in to normal rhythm on its own but all the other times the heart had needed to be shocked, and I knew this time the heart did not do this on its own. God had restored the rhythm! I told the pastors about my heart being back in rhythm after they had stopped praying and thanked them and God. Our plane tickets were already bought and I knew the doctor would want to see me anyway so we will still fly to Nairobi. It will probably cost us about $1,000.00 but maybe the doctor will find that my heart is completely healed or we will start moving forward on what needs to happen to get this issue dealt with. I still don’t know why God has allowed this all to happen but it is clear that His hand is in this situation. For now, that will need to be enough.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
I look down and see that my sandals are coming apart. I have just arrived home after walking home from church, about an hour’s long dusty trek in the hot sun. I’m sure for some missionaries this would be nothing, but for this one, well let’s just say, I am glad to be home. Being without a vehicle for the last four weeks has not been terrible, but it has presented its difficulties. It would not be so bad if we still lived in town. Then walking to the store for groceries wouldn’t be so bad, but living some miles out of town makes it more complicated (about 20 minutes by car). We have been taking a lot more bodas (motorcycle taxis) and trying to bum rides from others. This is not really a complaint. Rather, this is just an update on the situation. We are still watching and waiting. Without a vehicle, life is a little more complicated but still very do able. The hard part is not knowing what the plan is. I would like to say we have always been very patient and never had any doubts, but I must admit, there are times I get frustrated and question how we are going about this. Should I be trying to find a way to fix the situation? Should I be working at raising money or trying to scrape up what we have to buy a cheap car? I know that sometimes God expects us to do the best with what we have. But ever since my first two attempts to fix the situation resulted in two clear “no” messages, I have felt that this is something God is going to deal with and we are to focus on being faithful in the midst of the situation and simply trust in Him. It is true that God has given us a couple of indications that He is working on this, but for the most part we cannot see much happening. One thing we have felt convicted on is being thankful not only in the midst of the difficulties but to learn to be thankful even for the difficulties. We still have some work in that area, and I must admit there are times I have some doubts. I don’t doubt that God will provide, for God has shown Himself faithful so many times; I know He is reliable. He will provide; it is just the how and the when we don’t know. Nor do we really need to know those things. My real question is the “what.” What am I supposed to do? Do I work at finding a solution for my family? Do I put out a plea to let people know about our situation? So far, it is only with a couple of close friends and in this blog that I have shared about it. Do I try to help matters along or do I just watch and wait? For now, I will watch and wait and keep asking God to make it clear what He would have me to do.