Where are these butterflies coming from?

A little over seventeen years ago now,I was pregnant with our firstborn, Janae. We were living in Virginia, a long ways from most of our family. I had no idea what having a baby would be like. I had much fear about the pain and just the entire delivery process. Not only did I want my mother to be near, but I especially desired my husband's presence. A few months before I was due (the first week of March), Bob was offered the free trip of a lifetime, a study trip to Israel by the local Eastern Star. Wow! How could he "not" go? Even though the trip meant he would be gone during the last weeks of my pregnancy and even over the expected due date ... how could he "not" go? After all, it was FREE!!! But my sweet husband, who dearly wanted to go to Israel on a trip such as this one, instead said, "No, when I go to Israel, we will go together." I was overwhelmed. From that time on, we have planned and saved some here and there for just such a trip. Tax refund money would go into a CD, so that we couldn't touch it without penalties. It is the only savings we have ever had that didn't get spent on something else. There was always a need. Our dream was that we would go together the year of our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. With that anniversary approaching, last year we started wondering if our dream would come true. The giving income dropped all year long for our mission. It soon became evident that something had to change. What was it? Would we need to withdraw our Israel savings and instead live on it or use it for airfare to return to the states and end our time as missionaries in Uganda? What was God trying to tell us? To make a long story short, God increased our giving income so that we could remain in Uganda. He pointed us to join a new ministry here while staying involved with the old. We are excited about these changes. But that is another story. The point is that our Israel savings was left untouched. As we began to look for options of what tour group to join, it became evident that it was no coincidence that the very year we are to go on our dream vacation is also the very year that a friend from Oregon is leading a group there!!! There was no question in our minds that we would join that team! It is just days now before we leave on our dream trip. So why are butterflies entering my tummy? I am convinced that we are supposed to go. I have no doubt that God is wanting to bless us with this time together, learning more about Him and seeing where His Bible people lived and served. I am amazed at His awesome gift to us. Yet I will be a continent away from my children. A dear friend of the family will be with them. There is no reason to fear now. Is that the reason for the butterflies? Or is it that I am not physically fit like I once was when I was younger? After all, this trip requires moderate hiking from 6-8 miles a day being expected to walk/hike. I have been instructed very specifically about purchasing hiking boots and breaking them in. I have read carefully all the other directions on what to bring and what to leave behind. Bob and I have spent months now walking an hour every morning, five days a week, with an emphasis on including stairs in our routine. Living on a hilly terrain the last couple months surely has helped us. I am just about as physically ready as I could be (or so Bob tells me). So why the butterflies? Perhaps the butterflies are just coming from the excitement of the culmination of a dream come true when it doesn't yet feel like it is really happening. I truly don't know. But one thing I do know, God will be with me. God will be with the children. And God will go before us and prepare the way. I covet your prayers that He would accomplish exactly His desires in our hearts (for each of the 48 in our tour group - 14 from Oregon, I think it is) and that we would be changed forever by this dream trip, a once-in-a-lifetime experience to be sure!!!

Why Do I Ever Doubt?

This past Friday, I was once again confronted with the question, "Why do I ever doubt You, Lord?" You'd think that after so many years of walking with Him, knowing Him and experiencing the life that He has to offer with Him that I would never doubt His goodness and faithfulness to supply my every need. You'd think ... I know I have been silent on this blog now for literally a year, simply because I don't take the time to sit down and write. But I have been challenged lately that I should be. So ... at least for today, I am back at it. We are once again facing some huge changes in our lives. Last year (2013), our support base dropped by an average of $1,200 or so a month. Since we had a surplus that had been built up (because we need it for emergencies and for the expensive flights to the states on furlough, etc. this is important to have), we weren't too worried at first. But as the year went on, we continued to be behind and dipped into the reserves just in order to make it through the month. We went on furlough and this only compounded the problem. Some told us that it would change when we went on furlough and people would give more while we were home. While many did give, the situation only temporarily changed for one month. Then the dip returned. By October, the reserve was completely gone and we were barely able to draw out our basic salary. Money for ministry expenses had been nonexistent for a long time by then which means anything was paid for from our personal salary funds. To say the least, things have been more than tight. Any savings we had vanished quickly just for regular needs. Nothing for when the van breaks down or even regular maintenance, etc. But when October hit with our balance falling in the red, we discovered from the home office that unless we were within $500, we would not be sent our salary. This meant "no" money to live on! Wow. That was literal since no savings was left here in Uganda. We had to confront the problem straight on and honestly. We couldn't ignore the problem any longer or just wait for it to go away. Of course, this meant, we not only 'just prayed' about our situation to the Lord but we finally came to Him with completely open hearts, searching and asking what God has in mind for us. What did this mean for us? Did He want us to pack up and sell off our things, moving back to the states? Did He want us to change our lifestyle here somehow (we feel like we live frugally for Americans already but perhaps we could change even more, for instance)? Did He want us to go somewhere else to serve Him? What??? Send Bob back to the states just to fundraise? Many questions were suddenly asked as we sought His guidance with a new yearning and desire to know His will. Just about that time, one of our advisors from the home office "just happened" to be coming to Uganda. This meant we were able to sit down honestly and seek guidance face to face. His advice was to not only do the fundraising letter we had planned, explaining plainly our current situation, but to also ask some supporters to "friend raise" for us. We reluctantly complied but prayed and asked a number of folks if they would consider "friend raising" on our behalf. This meant asking and hosting friends in their home and directly asking them to consider supporting the Peterson family. We have never been "in your face" direct request type people, so this was uncomfortable for us to ask anyone else to do on our behalves. But we had prayed about it and believed we were supposed to follow this counsel. It definitely has worked for others and the documented statistics in terms of the rate of return and investment is much more successful than other methods. In short, those that responded to our requests said no and only one said no, but could they try something different that would be more appropriate for their situation. The latter was a fruitful one and one new supporting family resulted. Most likely, these efforts also brought forth much more prayer support. But what ensued after our fundraising efforts from a distance, feeble as they may have been, has truly been amazing to us! Literally, every week since then we have received word from someone that something is happening on our behalf. Either they have talked to their missions board chairman or their board is meeting next month and will decide if they will support us or even some new commitments have been made or a missions team is praying on our behalf (and didn't even receive one of our letters by that time), etc. God is so good! We are so grateful! During the month of December many gave sacrificially and added to our support account at the home office. We ended December with one of the highest giving months yet. It is not clear how many of those gifts were one time gifts and which ones will be ongoing monthly gifts. We won't really know that for sure for a number of months as we see what is consistently being given. But we were encouraged and continue to be encouraged. We are so grateful for everyone who has given and taken serious time to pray for our needs. God is obviously working for us! After much prayer, we do not believe God wants us to leave Uganda. Bob finishes writing the basic curriculum for pastor's training in the islands geared at the uneducated pastor next month. The first two year program ends in March and about a dozen men will graduate. The program will be offered again but deeper in the islands of Lake Victoria. It has been so exciting to be a part of instilling God's Word into the hearts of these pastors, some who had never even heard the story of creation before! God's Word will not return void and we are already seeing an impact on their personal lives as they live out His Word practically before their people. Changed lives always inspire changed lives! And it is only by Him that the fruit can be wrought! But ... what does God want from us? We were convinced the shift in finances meant He intended a change to be made of some sort. We had become quite comfortable in our three bedroom house with a large, private compound where the kids could play freely and safely without care. For the first time ever, our children have had their own yard which meant we could finally have family dogs without worry of someone else needing the yard at any given moment since it wasn't really ours. Our home was truly a sanctuary where we could escape even the culture around us, to a degree, when needed and just be "Americans." We could even share that with friends when they needed a break. Hospitality (not my gifting) had even become a ministry frequently enjoyed here. But change? To what and how? To be concise, we believe God wants us to join the staff at Alpha Omega Seminary, also a Global Outreach International ministry. Alpha Omega Seminary is located outside Jinja a few miles and has land that borders the Nile River. Men in ministry come from all over East Africa to obtain a three or four year degree, certified in America. Everything is done in English since they come with many different languages. The students come for five week intensive sessions at a time and return with homework for twelve weeks while they continue to minister at their churches and ministry sites. Bob will be academic dean and a professor. They have offered us housing rent-free which will save us $600 a month which is huge. We are excited about this new phase of our lives. But we are also experiencing some anxiety over what the changes mean. Our children will have to give up their family dogs because we cannot take them with us. No more private compound with our "own" sanctuary. We will be a "fish in a fish bowl" again as we live our lives before everyone, this time in a new culture. We lose quite a bit of our own space inside and outside since the house is considerably smaller than what we have now. But we know that since God is in this, we will benefit and gain so much more than it "appears" that we are losing! Change is just hard. One of the things that was giving me anxiety about the move is that the duplex we are moving into is actually a two bedroom duplex. All of the rooms are smaller and we are losing a fair amount of storage space as well. On the end wall, there was an addition of two rooms, bathrooms and a porch. This area was used/intended for visiting teachers to stay in. We were offered this space in addition to the main duplex since it was clear that two bedrooms would not be large enough to accommodate us and the school room space. I was so grateful for this, but it meant that two of my children would be living outside of our house. While I requested security bars and a security door to resolve my fears, I knew it would be so difficult for me to be comfortable and to sleep well at night. How could I ever know if they needed me in the middle of the night and if they were okay? I quickly thought of baby monitors or some kind of intercom system, etc. anything that would help me with this fear. I finally realized I just needed to trust God with what He has provided. (with Bob's help, of course) I couldn't say I had forgotten this fear, but I had chosen to put my trust fully in Him over it and stopped worrying so much about it. This past Friday, we received a phone call, "Could you come out today and discuss the house with us?" Oh, my ... what did that mean? I had already figured out "mostly" how things could fit and how it "might" could work, especially since they were giving us some space in the maintenance shed for storage. Now what? When we arrived, Jim Clair was in the house with a pad of paper, pencil and a sketch already drawn. It had come to him that morning! He could push out part of the wall, move some plumbing and create a hallway to adjoin the two living spaces; thereby creating one four bedroom house on that end of the duplex!!! I was overwhelmed. Truly amazed. Once again, God was providing for ALL of our needs. Not just "some," but ALL. A mother's heart requires a knowledge that her children are safe and well cared for. Even this, He cared for. He knew that He could care for them without a remodel, that they could be safe because He is in charge and they are in His loving care. But He cared enough to give Jim this incredible plan which meets even the deeper emotional need of a mother. My need. I had surrendered it and He had given back beyond what I imagined. Now I know that it is going to take quite a bit of money to make this remodel happen. But I believe this is God's plan and even that He will provide. We have heard His call to Alpha Omega Seminary and answered, "Yes, Lord. We will go." And He? He is ever so faithful to reward us in even such things as a momma's heart. So I ask, "Why do I ever doubt You, my Lord?" And perhaps, just perhaps, next time I won't!

Let It Rain

When we got back to Africa in November, we came in the midst of the rainy season. It seemed to rain every single day and we looked forward to when it would stop. Now we are in the midst of the dry season. It is dry and hot, and now we wish it would rain.
With our ministry when we got back, things were going a little slow at first. SHIM gives its employees three weeks off during the holidays, so we slowed down as well. This may seem to be a good thing for us, yet when you are living in Africa and having to deal with the difficulties of life here, it can become really hard if you don’t feel you are accomplishing much. Now that the new year has begun, the ministry opportunities have increased dramatically. Now instead, our problem is that there seems almost more than we can handle.
We humans have a hard time being satisfied. Our goal will be to find our satisfaction in the Lord and seek to serve Him in whatever circumstance we may find ourselves in. So … let it rain (or sunshine, as the case may be)!!!
~ Bob

Eating Humble Pie

If you read my last post, you know that I had a run-in with a parking attendant here in Jinja recently. I must say that it is one I am not proud of ...
After going to the parking office and being assured that I was in the 'right,' (and told that I only had to pay one ticket for each hour) I felt justified somehow in not paying the parking attendant the two tickets he was demanding.
Now I must tell you that it is very true that the parking attendants do attempt to scam you (at least us mzungus - white people) on a regular basis. From asking you for money with a story like that they did not receive their paycheck this month to giving you used tickets and so on. I know that this current parking attendant wrote a dishonest time down on my ticket as it was nearly 40 minutes off.
But besides those facts ... I was still clearly wrong. A friend pointed out to me where the law is stated in writing. And it is definitely one ticket per hour UP TO THE TWO HOURS which means that my hour and a quarter would have owed the parking attendant two tickets, not one as I had previously been lead to believe (and believed whole-heartedly)!!!
Well, once I realized this truth, I knew that I needed to go to the parking attendant and ask for forgiveness. You can imagine how surprised he was when this belligerent white lady knelt before him in broad daylight amidst a busy Main Street and asked for his forgiveness ... I was delighted to find that he still had his job and that he was willing to extend grace to me.
But I must say that eating humble pie is not my favorite pastime ...

But Oh, What A Day!

This week has been a busy one for me and yesterday was no exception. I have been feeling like I am barely treading water and only keeping my head out of the water just enough to breathe. Between the power outages and trying to get on top of school and just everyday living, the balance has somehow been thrown off.
It's not that yesterday started out any different than others this week. Getting up and starting school later than planned is a poor way to begin the day though, especially skipping time with Him that I so desperately needed.
So, even though it was busy, I made it through the morning (on my own) and even enjoyed a nice lunch at a new restaurant in town with a friend. It was after this that the day actually started turning what seemed to look awful 'bad.'
Here in Uganda, the city charges vehicles taxes for parking in the form of little parking tickets that you are required to purchase and give to designated parking attendants each time you park on the street (each parking attendant is assigned to a separate part of the street/block). As we readied to leave the restaurant, the parking attendant approached the window and demanded that I give him two tickets because I was parked so long.
Well, that wouldn't "sound" unusual and really it is not. But I had not been parked but for about an hour and a half at the most. One ticket is good for up to two hours. My sense of 'fairness and justice' rose up quickly within.
Now it is also not unusual for parking attendants to attempt to scam us mzungus (white people) ... they routinely sell you tickets that someone else already paid for instead of giving you new/unused tickets ... or they may demand more tickets than you owe ... or they may tell you that the charge is 2,000 shillings for a strip of tickets when it is only 1,000 shillings, etc.
Normally when I am approached with someone who is attempting to scam me, I call them on it and they end up smiling and let down quickly. I pay the correct amount and I drive off happy. No big deal. But this time was different for some reason. The attendant didn't back down quickly and when I discovered he had written an incorrect time of arrival on my tax invoice, that made me much more irritated with the man. This was more than a simple 'verbal' scam and I was much more indignant with him. Even with his incorrect time of arrival, the total time still did not add up to more than two hours either. I was suddenly determined to get this fellow's name and report him to the head office of city parking.
What ensued was really a rather childish exchange of me trying to write down his correct name and employee number from his paperwork and he trying to make it look like I had stolen his paperwork, throwing it inside my van several times, the end result of which was me finally driving off with the paperwork left in the street for him to hopefully retrieve once I had gone. I even left him with two tickets, of all things!
Now if I look at this event as purely what is right and wrong, I might think that I was only doing what was right, and I suppose I might be justified. I did end up going home and writing out a letter of complaint with all the facts of the event and taking it to the office later that afternoon. But the letter was more in protection of myself (to hopefully avoid some high taxation on our vehicle as a result of whatever concocted story the parking attendant may report about me).
But this was only the beginning of my afternoon yesterday ... at this point, I had not admitted to myself that I was in no way reacting in a way that was honoring God. I went home and had some more things to do, but decided I needed to go buy a couple things at the supermarket first before I got to work on them. Well, I was in a hurry and obviously wasn't paying close enough attention. I turned onto a street near the supermarket and as I rounded the corner, I saw there were not many spots open to park. So I picked the closest one, just past a small parked car. As I whipped into the spot, I suddenly heard a horrible crunching sound that I have only heard when a car is being wrecked ... oh, no!!! It was me, just clipping the front right corner of that parked car, with the side of the van! I was trying to avoid parallel parking and also wasn't being careful!!! Ugh!!!
Now what ensued next could be have become a horrible picture very quickly, one's worst nightmare. In Uganda, crowds are riled up quickly. Sides are taken, especially if you have white skin and the offended party is dark-skinned. Despite any of the facts, the white-skinned person is often and most immediately at fault. In this instance, I was 'clearly' at fault ... oh, my ...
To me, instead what occurred is no short of a miracle. It demonstrates God's goodness and tender-hearted grace toward me. The owner of the car was an Indian (from the country of India, not like an American Indian) and he was the least bit upset. He didn't even take my contact information or write down the license plate of the van! And to top that off, he told Bob two times that he was so sorry!!!
In short, I called Bob while he called his mechanic. Bob arrived just before the mechanic and they agreed to a price to fix the car back to its original shape. Bob paid the mechanic who was to order the parts and would pick up the man's car tomorrow to fix it for him. And that was the end of it ... we drove off shortly thereafter!!!
The van has scrapes on the side of it now but no major problems, reminders of my carelessness ... reminders of my PRIDE (ouch)!!!
Now back to the scene of the earlier afternoon. God used this second scene to humble me and boy, did I need it!!! The parking attendant may have been dishonest but he is just trying to make a living. Life is hard here, especially for the average Ugandan. Prices continue to rise on food and fuel. In just over 18 months of living here, some things have doubled in price while others are "only" 30% more in price on just about everything. Yet the wages have remained about the same for everyone. I know it's hard everywhere and I'm not 'excusing' his sins. I am merely recognizing that I definitely gave this man absolutely 'no' grace. And I really was not about to even consider doing so ... all over some stupid little parking ticket that would have only cost me probably 15 cents or some ridiculously low amount!!!
So I think you can see I "needed" some humbling yesterday. I am just so grateful that He humbled me with His tender heart that took 'it easy on me.' I cannot imagine living without our God and His incredible grace and love. But somehow I had forgotten just how much He has given me and couldn't even seem to offer a glimpse of it to those around me. May I not forget yesterday and the lessons learned, but most of all, may I remember to offer grace freely to those around me. May my witness to others show Him at all times, whether I am being treated fairly or poorly ...

Power and the Christmas Season

As I sit here enjoying our Christmas tree lights (although it is a small fake one - no Oregon mountains to go get a fresh tree here), I am struck by the beauty of such simplicity and the joy it brings to my heart. I am grateful for the power that has been 'on' more this week than it has been 'off.' (Something that has 'not' been the norm since we returned here last month.)
My mind quickly shifts to the local Ugandans who live here. For many, living without power is an everyday occurrence. They rely upon others to recharge their cell phones and local businesses for all of their power needs. They make their supper largely in the dark using small charcoal cookers. As soon as the sun is up, their new day begins again. It is no wonder that they rarely eat breakfast here before beginning their day when the labor of it all would take so much time. Rather, it is more pressing to get started on the work set out before them. Besides, there is most likely not enough money to prepare three meals each day anyhow. Instead, they often rely upon the trees along the road for a quick snack to bide off their hunger and eat a rather large meal at the end of the day, filling their plates in heaps of food but possibly not with much nutritional value.
Yes, as I think upon the local life and how grateful I am for mine (not just the Christmas tree lights), it is no wonder that giving up the regular comforts of home surrounded by friends and family in America seems so not like much of a sacrifice to us. (although it doesn't mean I don't miss it and my heart even aches at times) Somehow we enjoy the simple pleasures and comforts that we can enjoy here perhaps more than we ever did before. God's gifts come to us in so many packages and for me, at least for the moment, it is the safe home and a couch to sit on, watching Christmas tree lights (enjoying the gift of power) and praying for the Ugandans surrounding me that God would give them some simple beauty to also enjoy this day.

Rainy Season Storms

Wow!!! What a huge storm last night ... the eye of the storm must have passed over us three different and very separate times. How anyone could sleep through all that noise is beyond me (but Josh managed to do so). Evidence was all around this morning with limbs down here and there all around town. Power went out at the onset of the storm as well.
Rainy season is obviously quite upon us right now. I have certainly enjoyed the cooler temperatures this past week -- in the 70s most of the time and even in the upper 60s when we rise in the mornings. Very pleasant overall.
But I can't help but think of all those folks out there in mud-walled and grass-thatch roofed homes. For them, storms can mean the difference between losing everything and actually surviving the night. The torrential rains bring instant flooding through the villages. If the downpour doesn't affect their homes, the flooding may just finish them off.
As I lay there listening to the storm in my safe and warm, cozy bed, I find myself praying for those that I know who live in such houses. Most of those I know here personally live in the islands of Lake Victoria. They literally know what it means to survive from day to day.
Lightning strikes are not uncommon here either, not just of objects but also people. So I also think about their personal physical safety during such times.
Realizing the struggle just to make it through the storms that come and go so frequently here during the rainy season, it is no wonder that the Ugandan people tend to live day to day without a whole lot of emphasis on the future ahead. There is so much to be done just to make it through the day.
So if you think about it the next time you are in a storm, whether in your warm and safe house or car, please pray for the Ugandan people. Just plain everyday living can be such a struggle during such times. With rising inflation at 30%+ this past month, it is no wonder that even just feeding their families is difficult.
But we know the God who provides all that is truly needed and we give Him glory even when He sends the storms. And we thank Him for such awesome protection in the midst of these storms!