A Trip Back to Nairobi Hospital

Sometimes it is hard to understand what God is doing but He is there. This morning I woke up and my heart was not beating in a regular rhythm. It was not the first time. In fact, it had happened only three months previous. It meant that we would once again need to make a trip to Nairobi for a cardio inversion. The last time we had taken the bus and by the end I was feeling my heart might go into a full heart attack with chest pains and tightness. This time we will fly. It would still take a number of hours and cost us more but I did not think I could make another bus trip in the same condition. With this happening so soon again, it brought up serious questions about my ability to stay on the mission field. We would need to talk to the doctor about possible solutions. With the heart being out of rhythm, it leaves me feeling weak and light headed. I lay in bed and prayed to God, “God, why? We are trying to live by faith. We have tried to surrender to You the vehicle problems and trust You will take care of us, and not only have we not seen any answers to that prayer, now we have this. Am I being punished for something?” We began making arrangements for the trip. Different friends jumped forward to help. Their care means more than I can say. We got a flight to go out tonight. I was feeling concerned about the trip. There would first need to be a road trip of about four hours just to get to the airport . Then I would need to deal with all the check in procedures. I had heard that if the airline knew I was having some heart issues they would not let me on, so that meant I could not use a wheelchair. I would have to get around on my own power as best I could. The pastors, who were my students, came and asked if they could pray for me. I readily accepted. Prayer is always a good thing and you never know what God might do. The pastors came in and said they would pray for God’s healing and ask for a miracle in whatever way God might choose to do. I knew that these men believed that God could still do miracles and I did, too. As they were praying over me I joined them in asking for God to do a miracle in me. Then as they continued to pray, I checked my pulse and found that it was back in normal rhythm. Once before my heart had gone back in to normal rhythm on its own but all the other times the heart had needed to be shocked, and I knew this time the heart did not do this on its own. God had restored the rhythm! I told the pastors about my heart being back in rhythm after they had stopped praying and thanked them and God. Our plane tickets were already bought and I knew the doctor would want to see me anyway so we will still fly to Nairobi. It will probably cost us about $1,000.00 but maybe the doctor will find that my heart is completely healed or we will start moving forward on what needs to happen to get this issue dealt with. I still don’t know why God has allowed this all to happen but it is clear that His hand is in this situation. For now, that will need to be enough.

Watching and Waiting

I look down and see that my sandals are coming apart. I have just arrived home after walking home from church, about an hour’s long dusty trek in the hot sun. I’m sure for some missionaries this would be nothing, but for this one, well let’s just say, I am glad to be home. Being without a vehicle for the last four weeks has not been terrible, but it has presented its difficulties. It would not be so bad if we still lived in town. Then walking to the store for groceries wouldn’t be so bad, but living some miles out of town makes it more complicated (about 20 minutes by car). We have been taking a lot more bodas (motorcycle taxis) and trying to bum rides from others. This is not really a complaint. Rather, this is just an update on the situation. We are still watching and waiting. Without a vehicle, life is a little more complicated but still very do able. The hard part is not knowing what the plan is. I would like to say we have always been very patient and never had any doubts, but I must admit, there are times I get frustrated and question how we are going about this. Should I be trying to find a way to fix the situation? Should I be working at raising money or trying to scrape up what we have to buy a cheap car? I know that sometimes God expects us to do the best with what we have. But ever since my first two attempts to fix the situation resulted in two clear “no” messages, I have felt that this is something God is going to deal with and we are to focus on being faithful in the midst of the situation and simply trust in Him. It is true that God has given us a couple of indications that He is working on this, but for the most part we cannot see much happening. One thing we have felt convicted on is being thankful not only in the midst of the difficulties but to learn to be thankful even for the difficulties. We still have some work in that area, and I must admit there are times I have some doubts. I don’t doubt that God will provide, for God has shown Himself faithful so many times; I know He is reliable. He will provide; it is just the how and the when we don’t know. Nor do we really need to know those things. My real question is the “what.” What am I supposed to do? Do I work at finding a solution for my family? Do I put out a plea to let people know about our situation? So far, it is only with a couple of close friends and in this blog that I have shared about it. Do I try to help matters along or do I just watch and wait? For now, I will watch and wait and keep asking God to make it clear what He would have me to do.

God's Got This!!!

I’m rather excited to see what God is going to do, and my hope is you will be encouraged, too! Let me give you a little background. Lately, I have been under a lot of stress. I won’t go into all the reasons. They aren’t life threatening and I know some of you face worse things, but I had allowed the pressure to get to me to the point that I was in continual physical pain. One of the problems was with our van. While we have been very thankful for our van, the roads here can be hard on vehicles. From the beginning, our van has had a tendency to overheat. We have had it worked on numerous times trying to fix the problem, but finally came to the realization that we would either have to replace the engine or replace the van. Replacing the engine can be risky here because you don’t really know what kind of engine you might get to replace it. We decided we would pray that God would provide some extra money at the end of the year so we could get a different vehicle. The van was getting worse, and we prayed it would make it till then. We made it to the end of the year and found that about four thousand dollars extra did come in for December. Praise God, and thank you so much to our supporters!!! With that, we thought we might have enough to get a cheaper vehicle. But we didn’t jump to buy one. We have learned that it is always better to seek God’s direction even if that means waiting a little. We didn’t have to wait long. Within 24 hours a different need arose that swallowed up all the extra money. It was clear the money was to go there because the extra money was almost exactly the amount needed. On the one hand, this was encouraging, for God not only knew what our needs would be, He had sent just the right amount! On the other hand, now what were we to do about the van? More stress. I decided I would take it to the mechanic and see what we could do to keep it running. There was no money for the work, but we would trust God to provide. This was on a Friday. The plan was to take the van to the mechanic on Monday. On Saturday the battery wouldn’t start the van. I had to jump the van to get to church on Sunday, and then jump it again to go home. Before we could make it home, the transmission started making noises and refusing to shift. As we pulled into our gate, the electronics on the dash went completely out. I had the feeling as if when I got out of the van and shut the door that the wheels would all fall off and the van would roll over on its side. What I felt was an urge to laugh and a sense of relief. It was clear that this was so much more than I could fix. Everything was more than I could fix, and I remembered that we had been here before. God had allowed us to be in these kinds of situations before. And either it was because there was some important lesson that we needed to learn, that, while it might not be pleasant, would in the end be for our good; or God was wanting to show Himself mighty, and was letting things get darker so His victory would be all the more clear. My attempt to try and fix things by my thinking had been answered with a resounding, “No!” Okay, I may be slow but I do eventually catch on. It was not up to me to fix this; God had a plan. I needed to surrender it to Him. That was not only true with the vehicle but all the rest as well. We have learned, when we get to this point, we don’t need to figure out the solution. We just need to focus on doing what we know to do, and trust God with the rest. We had planned to take the boys on the bus to go see Josh and Janae in Kenya. I really didn’t have the spare time or money to make this trip. It would have to be a quick one, lasting about 48 hours with over half of that being spent on the bus. But we knew it was important to go, so we decided not to think of the van and just go. Another thing we have learned is when you turn something over to God, you need to keep your eyes open to see what He might be doing so you can follow along. When we got to the school, we met up with a good missionary friend who told us he was feeling lead by God to offer to sell us his car. The car was much nicer than what we were looking for or even thought we could afford, but again, we have learned to rule out anything with God. So we asked him to pray about it and we would, too. He didn’t tell us how much he would ask for it, but in truth, it didn’t matter. We didn’t have any money for it. But more and more we felt that this was the car God intended for us to have, which meant God would have to be the One providing the money. I am not telling you this to try to make you feel sorry for us or to convince you to give money. The one thing God has made clear to me is that I am not to try to figure out a way to get the money. He already has a plan and I will just get in the way. I tell you this because I believe this is about much more than just our need. This is about God showing clearly how He can take care of those who trust in Him. That there is nothing He cannot deal with. Some of you need to hear this because you are facing situations that are beyond your ability to fix. I still don’t know how God is going to provide, but I believe He will and I write this in faith so you can see it from the impossible side before He steps in. I believe I will also be sharing sometime soon telling you how God has answered our prayers. This is a bit of a risk for if God doesn’t step in as I expect, I will look pretty foolish, but I have looked foolish for lesser things. So I invite you to stand with me to see the salvation of the Lord.

Christmas in Nairobi

When I had gone to Nairobi for my heart in November, the doctor required me to come back in one month’s time, just before Christmas. I did not really want to have to be traveling at that time but I was not really given a choice. So after we got home, we made arrangements for me to catch a night bus on the 21st of December, be in Nairobi for a couple days and get back home on the 24th. The time came for me to catch the bus which was to leave at 9 pm from Jinja, so we arrived a half hour early only to find out that the bus driver had just before we got there. (We later found out I was not the only one he had left behind; there were three others). The ticket agent, a young fellow named Omar (who was new to the job) used two cell phones simultaneously to try to get through to the bus driver or conductor to get them to pull over and wait for me. We three (including Michelle) jumped into our van and started after the bus. Now one of the reasons I take the bus rather than drive is because I don’t really enjoy driving on the African roads, especially at night. The roads are dark with lots of obstacles, including pot holes, animals, people, bikes, motorcycles, what not. Another fun thing is that many people use their high beams all the time and in effect, blind you. So off we race after the bus. I would have preferred to go slower but knowing that bus drivers are notorious for going very fast and that this fellow had already shown little inclination to wait even the required time, I figured if he did agree to wait for us, it wouldn’t be for long. Omar finally got through to the bus conductor who said they would wait for us at Iganga, a town about 45 minutes down the road. “ Why,” I asked, “couldn’t they pull over sooner?” But Omar had no answer. I later found out they were required to stop in Iganga and the driver wasn’t willing to stop earlier. After a rather nerve racking drive, we make it to Iganga only to find no bus. Omar gets back on the phones and is told that the bus driver had changed his mind and now required that we go on to the border, another hour and a half away, to get on the bus. Omar explained that some bus drivers prefer to have some empty seats so they can pick up riders on the way and pocket the money they get. Thus this driver was not very motivated to wait for me. At this point I do not want to go on. There was no guarantee that the driver would really wait for me at the border. Plus, going on would not only mean more night driving for me but it would also mean Michelle would need to travel back with our van over two hours late at night with a stranger. Now Omar seemed like a nice guy, but I did not want to trust Him with my wife. Michelle, however, assured me she would be fine. I knew this took a lot of courage on her part to say this. She obviously felt it was important I see the doctor. So, on we went. We only made it about ten minutes out of Iganga when the van over heated. Another reason I had chosen not to drive was because we were increasingly having problems with the van. We have taken the van to different mechanics, but having your vehicle worked on in Uganda is an adventure in itself, and despite repeated attempts the problems had not gone away. In fact, they had only grown worse and more frequent. So there we were sitting on the side of the road in the dark. At this point I was done. I wanted no more. I told Omar that we would wait for the van to cool, and then add more water (which we now carried all the time, along with extra oil). After that we would go back and I would go home. In truth, I was relieved no to have to leave my family and make the trip at Christmas time. I would see the doctor some other time. Omar was very polite and agreed to give us a refund, but he insisted he could get me on the next bus that left two hours after the one I was supposed to be on. Omar was working very hard on his two cell phones to make this work. At this point I didn’t want to go to Kenya even if he drove me in his own car (which of course he didn’t actually have); however, Michelle also seemed to think I should try to get on the second bus. I knew she was only concerned for my well being, but it felt like there was a conspiracy against me, trying to get me to do what I knew I should rather than what I wanted to do. I decided I would outsmart them. I agreed to take the later bus only if Omar could get me a seat up front like I had paid for on the first bus. Seats up front were more expensive because seats in the back tended to be uncomfortable and very bumpy. I knew that the buses at Christmas time were usually sold out, so I felt safe Omar would fail in getting me a front seat, but I would still look like as if I was being agreeable. I was still mentally patting myself on the back when we arrived back in Jinja. The second bus was just arriving. Omar went on and to my dismay managed to finagle to get me a seat towards the front. The ride to Nairobi was about typical - long with little sleep. When we got to Nairobi it was around 10 o’clock in the morning, and we were stuck in a traffic jam, which was also typical. The problem was since I was on a later bus I was now going to find it difficult to make my 11 o’clock appointment. After we spent some time watching us getting nowhere fast, I decided I would need to do something different. I told them to let me off the bus. I made it across traffic to some bodas (motorcycle taxis) I saw across the street. I jumped on and off we went weaving our way through the traffic making our way to the hospital across town. We made it to the hospital with a few minutes to spare, which I was very thankful for, for it gave me time for something that had become increasingly very important - finding a bathroom! Fortunately, I knew of one close to my doctor’s office. I got to the bathroom grabbed the handle to find it locked. Someone else is already in it. “Okay”, I thought, “I can wait a couple minutes.” I wait and I wait, shifting from one foot to the other. Finally the handle rattles. I think, “Great, he is coming out.” But the handle just continues to rattle. The guy is locked in the room and can’t get out. I quickly look around for someone to help. I see a guy with a name tag, which I hope means he works there, and try to explain to him that someone has locked themselves in the bathroom and can’t get out. It takes a few attempts to get the message through but eventually he agrees to go find someone who can let the guy out. I wait around for another couple minute but then decide I need to go find another bathroom. I walk up and down corridors but have no luck finding a bathroom. I decide by now the guy surely has gotten out so I go back to the corridor by my doctor’s office and find the guy is still locked inside and there is no one there helping him. I find another person, this time a gal who is a janitor and explain again the situation. She says she will go find someone to help. “Great,” I think, “I have heard this one before.” So I leave the guy to his own fate and go off once again looking for the golden throne. Finally I find an open bathroom, and there is great rejoicing. I never do find out what happened to the guy locked in the bathroom but I do make it to my appointment just in time. They take me right back to a room to check my vitals, including my blood pressure. The nurse tells me that my blood pressure looks a little high, and I think, “You have no idea!” The rest of the appointment goes fine. My blood pressure goes back down, and I am given an okay from the doctor. The next day has its own adventures, making my way around the city by bus, doing some last minute Christimas shopping, looking for things unavailable in Uganda. I catch the night bus back to Jinja and arrive a little before noon on Christmas Eve. It is not exactly the way I would have chosen to get into the Christmas spirit, but I am back with my family and once again thankful for the many ways our God has watched over and blessed us.

Grandma's Green Bean Casserole for Christmas

Hard to believe, but this is our fifth Christmas in Uganda. Some of our traditions we have been able to keep intact, but others had to go by the wayside. For instance, we still get new pajamas to wear on Christmas eve. While this has been a challenge, we have been able to continue this. The other thing that continues is fun filled Christmas stockings for whoever spends the night with us and of course reading the Christmas story before opening any gifts. One of the things that is difficult to replicate though? Food. Just things that seemed so simple in the states to get (ingredients) are either non-existent or difficult to find. For this reason, the green bean casserole that I always made from my grandma's recipe rarely graces our table for Christmas. But this year was different. A couple months ago, I was surprised to find canned water chestnuts of all things! I bought a can "just because I could" even though I had serious doubts that it would make any difference. The other ingredients would not be around. Then about a month ago, I was amazed to discover canned French-cut green beans in Jinja! I couldn't believe it!!! I bought three cans "just because I could." Then sat them on the shelf in the pantry. I would make them at Thanksgiving and use the chestnuts. I knew it still wouldn't taste right, but at least I could get "closer" to the original. Thanksgiving grew closer and it was apparent that we wouldn't even be around for that celebration because Bob and I needed to head to Nairobi Hospital to take care of his heart problem (atrial fibrillation). The green bean casserole would just have to wait. That wasn't very disappointing since I wouldn't have the other proper ingredients anyhow. After Bob's heart got fixed, we had to wait an extra day or so in order for the doctor to have a follow up appointment and confirm that his heart was going to stay in good rhythm before releasing us to go back to Uganda. What else is one to do while waiting in Nairobi? Hit the shopping mall, of course! At one of the supermarkets, I was super excited to discover Campbell's cream of mushroom soup! Campbell's for real!!! I bought two cans "just because I could!" I even found Nestle's chocolate chips and Skittles in four different flavors! I had to pinch myself to remind myself that I hadn't just tele-ported to America somehow ... When we got home to Uganda, I realized that I had almost all of the ingredients now that would make my grandma's green bean casserole! I only lacked French's French-fried onions! No problem. Andy and Karina Smith had asked many times if there was anything else I needed them to bring back ... and Dufur Christian Church had already purchased a footlocker which wasn't full yet just for us that the Smiths would be bringing the middle of December. I couldn't believe it. It was possible that if I just ordered some French-fried onions in time for the Smiths to stick them in our footlocker that we could actually have Grandma's Green Bean Casserole?!! Now you might think that green bean casserole is better than candy to me or, at the very least, it is my all-time favorite dish ever. I certainly seem to be consumed with figuring out how to have it! But, you know what? It really isn't. I enjoy it. I like it. I even miss it, at least at Thanksgiving and Christmas. When I find it at a potluck, I am excited to try it. But it never satisfies. It isn't the same recipe. Even if it was, the ingredients here don't quite taste the same. Last year I even tried cutting green beans (called French beans here) the French-style cut way and it took me an hour to do so. Then I made the recipe but to my disappointment. The mushroom soup I made just didn't taste "right." This year, I did make the correct recipe and it was good. I enjoyed it. But it really wasn't the green bean casserole that satisfied. It was the tradition of having Grandma's recipe on the table. It was like a taste of home, a way to be closer to family somehow. Being on the other side of the planet from family is hard at times and certainly the holidays are no exception. If nothing else though, it was a good reminder of what is truly important during the holidays. Green bean casserole or no, tradition or no, things cannot satisfy our hearts the way our precious Lord and Savior can. And no matter where in the world we are, He will always be with us! I can always, always take comfort in that!!!

Thanksgiving at Nairobi Hospital

It started after a morning of teaching. I sat down for some lunch and as I sat there, I could feel something unusual going on with my heart. I could feel it pounding in my chest. I checked my pulse and not only was it going faster than usual, it was also skipping beats. “Bummer”, I thought, “not again!” I had experienced heart arrhythmia four times before (actually, atrial fibrillation). Once it had gone back into rhythm on its own, the other times I had needed to be inverted (heart stopped and then started again with an electric shock). The heart didn’t seem to be skipping around as much this time as it had before. It just seemed to be skipping some beats. I thought, “Maybe if I just rest, it will calm down.” I knew it was probably wishful thinking, but last time had involved a month and a half of incapacity along with a memorable but highly unsatisfactory stay in a Ugandan hospital highlighted by an unsuccessful cardiovertion attempt, part of which I was concious for. All of this was followed by being life-flighted down to South Africa to be cardioverted again, this time successfully. So now you know where the “Bummer, not again,” comes from and why I was hoping things would correct themselves. But by morning it was clear that the heart was not going to fix itself. The pulse had slowed down to closer to normal but it was still skipping beats. I wasn’t feeling as bad as I had in the past but I knew I would need some help. I called my cardiologist who was in Nairobi. I had been followed by him ever since the last episode two years earlier. The receptionist would not let me talk to the doctor but told me I would need to make an appointment and come in. I tried to explain that I lived in a different country and it would take me hours of travel to get there. I wanted to know if there were something I should be doing now. She told me I need to make an appointment. So I made an appointment. The next day was earliest appointment I could get, which was just as well as it would take me that long to get there anyway. The choice was between flying and taking the bus. We had tried driving twice and our van had broken down both times, so driving was out. It is just not reliable for longhaul trips or anything with hills and mountains. The flight itself would only be about an hour and a half, but it would take at least four hours to get to the airport, then there would be standing in line getting tickets, going through security and customs and travel from the airport in Kenya. All-told it would take somewhere around nine hours of travel to fly with a lot of activity and stress. The bus would take about 12 hours but most of that I would just be sitting. Plus the bus would be ten times cheaper, so the bus it was. My wonderful wife lined up for our boys to stay at some friends and arranged for bus tickets on the night bus for us, along with a lot of last-minute details. Some Ugandan friends dropped us off at the bus station where we were told the bus would be there any minute. Our bus station consisted of two waiting room type chairs placed at the side of the road. We had a lot of stares at the two white people sitting at night by the side of the road in these nice chairs. We sat there for about an hour waiting for the bus, which was okay, until it started to rain. But eventually the bus did make it and we got going. My seat was fairly roomy and not too uncomfortable but Michelle was stuck by a fellow with a lot of bags that were stuck where her feet was supposed to be. The back of the seat in front of her kept bagging into her knees and her seat back was broke so if she leaned back on it, it would fall back into the lap of the fellow behind. Fortunately it was just a short bus ride, 12 hours or so. So off we went, bumping along. We were both able to get some sleep even if only intermittently. At first I hadn’t been feeling that bad, but by the time we were getting close to Nairobi, my chest was beginning to feel very tight and the pain was increasing. It was morning when we got off the bus in the middle of bustling Nairobi. Michelle grabbed the bags (Did I mention I had a wonderful wife) and we found a taxi. We went and got some food then to a guest house where we could get about an hour of rest before it was time for the doctor's appointment. The rest helped, so I was able to make it up the stairs to the doctor’s office by taking it slow. The doctor looked me over and told me sure enough I had a problem. He told me they could cardiovert me but first they would need to know there were no blood clots in my heart or it could kill me. He gave me two options. I could take some drugs and wait a month. Or they could do a procedure of putting some kind of scope down my throat to see if there were any clots and if not, go ahead and cardiovert me then. Last time, under the care of a doctor in Uganda, I had only had option A, and it had left me virtually bed ridden for more than a month, so this time I jumped at option B. The procedure was lined up for the next day, Thanksgiving. While we had been looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with friends, all the excitement had been put out of my mind. So the next morning as they were preparing me for the procedure (sliding a tube with a scope on it down my throat), I was surprised when the doctor wished me a “Happy Thanksgiving.” I thought, “This isn’t what I had envisioned putting down my throat on Thanksgiving, but oh well.” I was concious for the first part of them putting the tube down my throat (for some reason they needed me awake), but while I felt a little panicky at first it wasn’t too bad. And I don’t really remember much beyond feeling the start of it going down. I woke up in a different bed and was told that there had been no clots so they would now do the cardioversion. The doctor told me to count backwards from 100. I can remember getting to 28, and then I was waking up again and my heart was back to beating as before. A few hours later I was able to leave the hospital. During this time I was able to just rest, but Michelle was kept busy with a lot of running around. We had brought our credit card and debit card and had even called the credit card company in advance. But because of credit card fraud that had been going on in Kenya, they would not authorize the card. To get out of the hospital, we would have to pay our bill in full so Michelle was forced to find a way to get the money transferred from our bank in Uganda over to Kenya. Fortunately, a good friend back in Uganda was willing to give up part of his Thanksgiving to help us out. After a lot of stress and headache, Michelle was able to get it taken care of so I could leave the hospital. (Did I mention I have a wonderful wife?) We got out and stayed again at a guest house and were able the next day to catch a ride up to the school where Janae and Josh attended. As it turned out, they were just heading into Christmas break and were preparing to catch a bus ride back to Uganda the next morning. We were able to get a ride on the same bus. This bus ride took 15 hours but finally we were back home. Getting back to normal would still take about a week, but all-in-all, I was very thankful for so many things.

Where are these butterflies coming from?

A little over seventeen years ago now,I was pregnant with our firstborn, Janae. We were living in Virginia, a long ways from most of our family. I had no idea what having a baby would be like. I had much fear about the pain and just the entire delivery process. Not only did I want my mother to be near, but I especially desired my husband's presence. A few months before I was due (the first week of March), Bob was offered the free trip of a lifetime, a study trip to Israel by the local Eastern Star. Wow! How could he "not" go? Even though the trip meant he would be gone during the last weeks of my pregnancy and even over the expected due date ... how could he "not" go? After all, it was FREE!!! But my sweet husband, who dearly wanted to go to Israel on a trip such as this one, instead said, "No, when I go to Israel, we will go together." I was overwhelmed. From that time on, we have planned and saved some here and there for just such a trip. Tax refund money would go into a CD, so that we couldn't touch it without penalties. It is the only savings we have ever had that didn't get spent on something else. There was always a need. Our dream was that we would go together the year of our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. With that anniversary approaching, last year we started wondering if our dream would come true. The giving income dropped all year long for our mission. It soon became evident that something had to change. What was it? Would we need to withdraw our Israel savings and instead live on it or use it for airfare to return to the states and end our time as missionaries in Uganda? What was God trying to tell us? To make a long story short, God increased our giving income so that we could remain in Uganda. He pointed us to join a new ministry here while staying involved with the old. We are excited about these changes. But that is another story. The point is that our Israel savings was left untouched. As we began to look for options of what tour group to join, it became evident that it was no coincidence that the very year we are to go on our dream vacation is also the very year that a friend from Oregon is leading a group there!!! There was no question in our minds that we would join that team! It is just days now before we leave on our dream trip. So why are butterflies entering my tummy? I am convinced that we are supposed to go. I have no doubt that God is wanting to bless us with this time together, learning more about Him and seeing where His Bible people lived and served. I am amazed at His awesome gift to us. Yet I will be a continent away from my children. A dear friend of the family will be with them. There is no reason to fear now. Is that the reason for the butterflies? Or is it that I am not physically fit like I once was when I was younger? After all, this trip requires moderate hiking from 6-8 miles a day being expected to walk/hike. I have been instructed very specifically about purchasing hiking boots and breaking them in. I have read carefully all the other directions on what to bring and what to leave behind. Bob and I have spent months now walking an hour every morning, five days a week, with an emphasis on including stairs in our routine. Living on a hilly terrain the last couple months surely has helped us. I am just about as physically ready as I could be (or so Bob tells me). So why the butterflies? Perhaps the butterflies are just coming from the excitement of the culmination of a dream come true when it doesn't yet feel like it is really happening. I truly don't know. But one thing I do know, God will be with me. God will be with the children. And God will go before us and prepare the way. I covet your prayers that He would accomplish exactly His desires in our hearts (for each of the 48 in our tour group - 14 from Oregon, I think it is) and that we would be changed forever by this dream trip, a once-in-a-lifetime experience to be sure!!!